Two questions challenge us after the mass shooting at the high school in Parkland Florida on Ash Wednesday. Both will require courage and soul searching if we are to face them.

The first is the one that haunts us all: Where was God? Or, I guess more to the point, what was God doing during this awful tragedy? It is a good question and one we must wrestle with if we are to walk in a mature faith. I won’t claim to have my final answer to this one, let alone yours. I will only remind us that scripture and experience teach us that God is present in our suffering, never leaving us, and seeing us through the most fearful events of our life. And, I will suggest that God was present in the lives of the teachers that put their students first when evil struck, especially the coaches that didn’t seek cover but protected the teenagers with their very lives.

Where was God? Our God who is not aloof, but is willing to suffer with us was in the halls of Majory Stoneman Douglas High School and just as life was promised on a cross, somehow we believe that good will overcome evil, even in Fort Lauderdale.

The next question is more practical and easier for me to get my mind around: Where will God be next, or what will God do next? This is one we can answer when we decide to act and not just pray.

God will be with:
– The one who makes another donation to Brady Campaign Against Gun Violence
– The member of the school board that seeks ways to secure our campuses
– The one that volunteers at a school in order to be an extra set of eyes for our children
– The one that reaches out to the loner young man that struggles for meaning
– The friend or family member that sees something and decides to say something
– The representative that supports funding for mental health initiatives
– The one that writes their congressman and pleads for them to look at the issue of school safety with fresh eyes and not through the filter of overused speeches
– The leader that decides that leading is more important than grasping power
– The NRA member that realizes that the second amendment doesn’t mean our country needs to be gun saturated, the country with the most weapons per capita in the world.
– And finally, God will be with the one that weeps and the one that weeps with them.

“Not a sparrow falls without your Father knowing it. Even the hairs on your head are all counted.” (Jesus, trying very hard to teach us that God cares for us and we can live without fear.)

Under the heading of things that you learn as a child and then keep on the shelf for sixty years, I never really thought deeply about the hairs on my head being counted. I kept it filed under things you know if you happen to be omniscient. As in, you and God are at a party and someone asks, “How many hairs are on Jim’s head?” and God quickly answers, “126,422. Not too many in the crown area though.” And, everyone is amazed that the Creator apparently has the correct number for over seven billion people. I Told you I hadn’t thought deeply about this.

(Random thought: since there are over seven billion people on the planet and, per google, there are between ninety thousand and one hundred and fifty thousand hairs on the human head, the math would imply that there are thousands of people that have the exact same number of hairs on their head as I do. That never occurred to me. I wish there was some way I could nod at them or give them thumbs up when I pass them at Walmart. Now back to the original point.)

Turns out I had this particular quote by Jesus filed in the wrong place. Jesus’ point is not that God knows everything. Jesus’ point is that God cares about everything. When crisis comes, our fear doesn’t lessen because we believe God knows stuff. It lessens because we believe that God loves us and cares about what happens to us. Think about it. When you are in the ER, it’s comforting to believe that your care giver has a lot of medical information but what really calms you down is when they show you that they care. Jesus wants us to know that God cares. God is paying attention.

I love my wife dearly but when we were separated at the grocery store the other day, I couldn’t remember what color sweater she was wearing. I hadn’t bothered to pay attention. On the other hand, per Jesus, God knows how many hairs are on her head and he knows this not because he is all knowing but because he bothered to count them.

Like I said, I have known about God counting hairs since I was a little boy but this isn’t little boy stuff. The context for Jesus is that there is scary, hurtful stuff in the world and it will likely come our way, but we don’t have to succumb to fear because God is with us and knows what is going on.

Again, don’t miss the point. Jesus is not saying there aren’t things that are fearful. There are. There are tragic things, horrific things, and heart rending things. Even Jesus, in the midst of a torturous death cried out that God had forsaken him. But those weren’t the last words from the cross. His last words were words of trust and commitment. “Into your hands…” He was not afraid.

He was not afraid because he believed that very day birds all over the globe had breathed their last and God was present. He was not afraid because he believed that the God who cares about everything, down to the last hair follicle, would see him through.

That was true then for him. It is true now for us.

There are a lot of tents in the Christian camp. Aside from the myriad denominations, there are other labels such as Evangelical, Social Activist, Traditionalist, Progressive, Fundamental, Orthodox, Liberal, on and on.

I’ve never been much of a label person but the tent I want to dwell in is the one where the Contemplatives live. I decided to make this official when I ran across this quote, “For the Contemplative, everything is important. Everything is sacred.”

The Contemplative way is ancient and its basic practices are:
– Prayer that makes requests known but also listens and is often simply silent in the presence.
– Reading Scripture and other spiritual writings in hope of being formed by them as opposed to simply being informed by them.
– Seeing without judging or grading. Paying attention. Seeing as is, seeking to be aware.
– Listening to the sacred story of others, especially those that often aren’t heard.
– Pondering God’s first language, creation.
– Seeking justice for all.
– Loving kindness, embodying graciousness.
– Remaining humble. Remembering, as Richard Rohr says, that your point view is simply the view from your point in the universe.
– Believing that God is found inside our lives. In our hearts more than in our heads.
– Living simply.

As I ponder this list, two things jump out at me. First, the realization that I am not a very good contemplative, I just want to be one. Second, this way of life does have political and social implications. This way of life pushes one toward nonviolence, restorative justice, doing for others as we would have them do for us on a local and global level, and toward gentle care for the planet.

Yep. I’ve never been much of a joiner and I usually resist labels but I think this is one I want to grow into. I’m guessing the way to do that is practice.