The other day, I was having a very nice walk with an old friend. It was a beautiful day, conversation was good, and then he ruined it. He asked the question I’ve grown to hate.

“So, what you doing with your time since you retired?” Hate it.

I don’t hate it is because I don’t know. I do know. I’m a list guy. I keep track. More like I keep score, but I’ll get back to that in a minute.

He didn’t want an accounting of my time anyway. He’s my friend, and was interested in what’s going on in my life. That should’ve made me feel loved and affirmed, but it didn’t.

For some reason, I felt pressure from within to say something impressive. Something big. Something that would make him think, “Wow, wait till I tell the others!” Certainly something bigger than what I’m actually doing.

What I’m actually doing is living a quiet life. I’m simply enjoying family, friends, and dogs. I volunteer a little, read stuff that attracts me, take walks, and try to listen and be kind in conversations. Oh, and I watch a western now and then.

I’m not sure what I think is wrong with that, and why I feel embarrassed that it’s my life now days. It certainly can’t be healthy to feel like that.

I wish I was more like another friend. One who I actually find quite impressive. She’s been known to say, “I’m just an average person, having an average day.” That feels healthy.

My spiritual director is one of the wisest people I know. Early on in our journey, I shared these feelings with her. I told her that I keep track of my days. I make lists. I keep score. I strive to do something significant every week. Some weeks I even give myself a grade. She sat quietly for a few seconds, smiled with a twinkle in her wise blue eyes, and said, “I think I’m going to help you become a slug.”

Again, that was my spiritual director. Hear it. Her plan to help me along the path of becoming the person I am meant to be was to help me become a slug.

“Just an average person, having an average day.” What’s wrong with that? Do we (Okay I) push back on that because average is a C, and we were (It’s not just me. You were too.) raised to chase A’s and B’s?

And, you know what A’s and B’s get us don’t you? Atta-boys. The Dean’s List. Recognition. Folks are impressed.

Jesus spoke a good bit about the perils of seeking recognition. He said it’s pretty hard to trust God and walk in the way when we are seeking praise from others.

That makes me think that my calling it “recognition” is too nice. Isn’t it really seeking to be worthy, maybe even more worthy than others? Certainly not average.

Try that on, and tell me if it feels Christlike.

I think the next time someone asks me what I’m doing with my time I’m going to try to be brave enough to say, “Living a quiet life. Enjoying family, friends, and dogs. Volunteering a little. Reading stuff that attracts me. Taking walks. Trying to be kind. Nothing spectacular.”

Maybe if I’m really brave I’ll say, “Working on my slug badge.”